Guests
by Not A Place Of Monkey Business
Summary: Sackboy is on a quest to the Land of Chocolate and Doughnuts. He always had wanted someone to join him. Unfortunately, he would get his wish. My first stab at comedy. One-shot. Please read and review!


One day, Kratos was sitting on a coach. He had nothing to do, so he just laid there. _"You got mail!"_

"Urgh... Why must this laptop torment me?" He grabbed the near-by laptop. "Uh, 'Fanfiction'? Hmmm, I'd better check it out..."

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a 5cm high figure who calls himself Sackboy. Sackboy had to find the fabled _Land of Chocolate and Doughnuts_ to refill his homelands dwindling supply of the food item. Sackboy crossed perils lands, fallouts, space adventures, and giant sushi to get to this land. Ever since this journey started, he longed for someone else to join him…

One day, through a series of events not explained in this story, Sackboy landed on a game show called _Ultimate Ninja Championship for the Mentally AWESOME_. The prize is an RC helicopter, where he could fly to the uncharted land he was looking for. He approached a spawn. Eyes on the spawn detected Sackboy and the spawn hummed to life. Lights around it lit up, showing the number of clones it could make. Sackboy paid no attention to the lights. Then he saw something; a quarter of the lights were turned off. Weird thought Sackboy. Possibly some malfunction with the spawn. He walked away, and suddenly, a figure emerged from the double wooden doors. The figure had a scar stretched out from his left eye, and was carrying two swords.

"My name is Kratos, God of WAR!" the goatee man screamed out. "I am here to find the possibly non-existent _Land of Coffee and Pizza_!" He turned toward Sackboy. "YOU! You will help me on my quest! ADVENTURE HOE!!" Kratos clutched Sackboy's back and started dragging him.

They reached their first challenge, _Ultimate Ninja Sponge Swing Rope_. It seemed very easy; grab sponge, swing on sponge, resist falling into fire, land on enemy, ?????, PROFIT! But once Kratos saw the enemy, he freaked. He swung around his swords like a madman, barley scratching Sackboy, killing the enemy, and slicing the sponge off.

"OH MAH GAWD!" Kratos yelled at the top of his lungs. "WE SLICED OUR ONLY WAY TO COMPLETE THIS CHALLENGE!" Sackboy studied the area, but unfortunately, he had to listen to Kratos' whining, which threw off Sackboy's thinking. Then, he found a switch, hanging from a rope with a label reading "Emergency ONLY!!!" He grabbed onto the switch, and a staircase fell from the sky, stretching all the way to the end of the gap. Only thing was, Kratos was right under the platform. _SQUISH!_ Thread, cotton and bones scattered all over.

Sackboy approached another spawn point. The eyes again spotted him and the spawn came to life. This time, half of the lights turned on, instead of a full 4 quarter. Oh great, Sackboy thought. Here he comes again. Two figures jumped out of the spawn. Not only was Kratos there, but a strange blue character in a trash can was too.

"I'm BACK!" screamed the goateed man. "And I brought a friend." He nudged the blue trash man.

"Grover the Grouch. At your service." The blue man said in a happy-go-lucky voice.

"We're all acquainted? Good. ADVENTURE HOE!"

The trio found themselves at the next challenge, _Ultimate Ninja Cart Ride_. Again, sounds simple: get in cart, ride cart, avoid fire, don't step on electricity, ?????, PROFIT! But Kratos decided to complicate things. "We don't need to ride the cart, we can jump down!" Sackboy and Grover the Grouch watched helplessly as Kratos backed up, and jumped down the mining cave. _CRACK! _"OW! MY FACE!"

"Well… looks like free falling is out of the question." Grover said. "To the cart! AWAY!" The two jumped into the cart and started riding down the rather dark cave. A pillar of fire, stretching horizontally, was menacingly waiting for someone to get clotheslined. Sackboy ducked down, but Grover didn't seem to care. _BLAM!_ Grover was smacked in the head and was send flying off the cart, and into the electricity rails. Grover instantly evaporated on impact. Sackboy was the only one that survived. Thanks to the undamaged cart, he got a worry-free ride to the last challenge. Looking down, he noticed a strange puddle of goo on the floor…

Finally, Sackboy got to the last challenge, _Ultimate Ninja Acid Vat_. Kratos was waiting for him, with a pissed off look. "Hello, person." He said, unimpressed and depressed. "While I was slowly rotting away, I realized something. YOU HATE ME!!" Kratos started crying, almost uncontrollably. Crocodile tears, Sackboy thought. "I think you would rather have someone else other then me. So, I'll give you every single person that lives in this LittleBigPlanet (:3)!" Kratos grabbed a heart out of his pocket. He stuck his head into the spawn and said "I'M GIVING AWAY FREE HEARTS!!" Soon, millions of sackpeople barraged out of the spawn. Hobos, homos, nudes, crudes, rip-offs, you name it, they were there.

"I need to get to the magical train!" Paul yelled.

"I need to destroy the geth!" John Shepard wailed.

"I need to get a shameless appearance in a random fan fiction!" Mr. AuthorMan screamed. Soon, the place was full of Sackboys, Girls, Men, Women, and Unmentionables. Sackboy desperately pushed the crowd of people into the Acid Box. A flip of the switch later, the people started to melt. Later, all that was left were eyes, and goo. Sackboy passed through the box unharmed. It looked like the end for Sackboy, but, it was only beginning. He would fly 500000000km in his RC Helicopter, and die of thirst. And the _Land of Chocolate and Doughnuts_ would never be found End.

* * *

"This is an outrage!" He yelled out! "They made me look like some guy in a mental hospital! I'm not like that at all!"

"Umm… actually, yes, you kinda are." _SLICE!_

"No… no I'm not. Do you have anything to say in your defense, deady?"


End file.
